Pour l'amour de cinéma

Rude Boy (Jack Hazan, 1980)

2010-04-21T17:34:00.000-07:00

If you're looking for a great documentary on The Clash, look no further. Actually, wait, that's a different post. Last week I got a wild hair up my arse for anything and everything Joe, Mick, Paul, and Topper within reach. I'd been wanting to see the self-described semi-documentary/rockumentary Rude Boy for a long time (not really), so I thought I'd watch it and satisfy my Clash City Rocking needs. So was I satisfied? Short answer: no.

The film follows a young man named Ray (Rude Boy) who works a dead-end job in a porn shop by day and attends punk concerts by night. At some point he figures he'll get a job as a roadie for The Clash, only The Clash aren't quite interested. In any case, he winds up following the group around to a number of gigs, very ineptly helping set up the stage before a show. In between following this sad sap about London, there are 'live' performances (most of which had to be overdubbed in the studio, much to the group's dismay), short quips and conversations (usually about bumbling Ray) by each of the band members, protests, Margaret Thatcher, court dates, thief busts, neo-nazis, and communists.

Now, I don't know how much of this is 'real' and how much of it is scripted, but my guess is the only 'real' thing regarding The Clash in Rude Boy are the live performances (sans most of the vocals). That said, a lot of the performances are fantastic, but the rest of the film? A complete and utter mess. I can't help but think the people behind this film believed they had this brilliant idea and got so excited, but when it came time to do it, the financial factor failed them. It is somewhat comforting The Clash themselves shunned this film.

But is there some redeemable quality about Rude Boy, the semi-documentary? Yes! Luckily, Rude Boy is one of those rare, pure time capsule films. Watching this movie is like going back in time to a place many have never been - or perhaps have been, but forgot! On the outside we see working class London: the pickpockets, the skinheads, the Anti-Nazi League, the Thatchers. On the inside we see the kids coming of age during that time and the music that truly mattered.

my obsession with that rotten, chippy grin is unhealthy

It's not a masterpiece, not a must-see; not even for fans of The Clash. But if anything, it's an interesting, if muddled, step inside a largely forgotten time (with too little footage of The Clash, but try not to go into it for solely that and you may just enjoy).

A worthwhile scene in Rude Boy (Jack Hazan, 1980)

Rating: 7/10
Rude Boy on IMDb

Favorite Movie Characters #1: Patrick Swayze as Vida (Tribute)

2009-09-14T19:07:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, Patrick Swayze passed away today at age 57 after a battle with pancreatic cancer. I could say a million words. He's a true inspiration, and he's been in my thoughts all this time. Now he can finally rest. Godspeed, son, we'll miss you.

Patrick Swayze as Vida in To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (1995)

R.I.P♥

NSBSHF #5: Bride of the Monster, 1955

2009-09-02T14:57:00.000-07:00

And on we go to the world of Edward D. Wood Jr. Besides "Plan 9 From Outer Space", I had never seen any of Wood's films before this one. And so the fifth b-movie in my "never-ending saga" series is 1955's "Bride of the Monster", starring Bela Lugosi and Tor Johnson (yet again-- as the same character from the previous film, Lobo).

For me, personally, I went through a lot of emotions during the course of this film. At first I was completely bored, then I was angry that the movie poster and film title was false advertising, then I simply wanted to be put out of my misery, then the film ended and I had a good sleep. Looking back on the film now, though, it wasn't half as bad as I thought it was. In fact, I'm contemplating on giving it another watch.

As we all know, Mr. Wood was not the most accomplished film director and he doesn't have a highly respected filmography. So why on earth would I want to put myself through another one of his films-- for the second time? Well, I'll tell you. Wait for it... wait for it. Okay. "Bride of the Monster" is actually an enjoyable, maniacal story, carried by Lugosi in one of his most interesting roles (and, unfortunately, his last). If you're familiar with Lugosi's work, you'll know that he can make any batch of words sound frightening or important. In a few shots, Wood has Lugosi looking a bit like a fool, but his performance is strong, as he always becomes his role completely. He was a true professional. And this film is without a doubt something every Lugosi fan will want in their collection.

Moving onto the film itself. This is most likely Ed Wood's most competent vehicle. The acting, aside from Lugosi, is very, very poor. The sets are cheap (to be expected-- and if you've seen Tim Burton's "Ed Wood", you'll probably understand what I'm talking about). It is more than obvious that all scenes were shot in one take. The dialogue is laughable in many places. In fact, the plot alone is pretty laughable. But Wood did the best with what budget he had, and he created some very memorable characters. All in all, Wood created a cheap "supernatural thriller" camp cult classic, with one great performance from Bela Lugosi. And if all else fails, it's so bad it's good, alright?

Let's just not talk about that octopus.

Now to end this entry with, in my opinion, the best scene in the film. However ridiculous the words may appear, Lugosi gives a beautiful delivery.

Rating: 5.5/10
Mst3k v. rating: 6/10

NSBSHF #4: The Unearthly, 1957

2009-09-02T13:36:00.000-07:00

"Time for go to bed." The fourth bad movie in my series is a 1957 mad scientist film, "The Unearthly". And it is, in fact, bad. No, it's not just bad, it stinks. "The Unearthly" reeks of stenchy b-movie-ness, people. If you own a copy of this film and smell something funky coming from your DVD collection, the source of that smell would be this film. Find it, get rid of it; problem solved.

Okay, maybe I'm being a little harsh. But honestly, this movie was a disaster. The film stars John Carradine as Dr. Charles Conway who becomes obsessed with finding the Fountain of Youth. He performs a number of surgeries on unsuspecting patients of his psychiatric ward, installing a "gland" of some sort (which actually just looks like a naked, bloody mouse) into their bodies. As you may already guess, these surgeries fail horribly and the patients come out either looking like demented cavemen or having a face like Freddy Krueger's.

The only thing about this movie that may-- just possibly-- be worth your time is the great Tor Johnson as Lobo and his infamous line, "time fo' go ta bed!". And if you do manage to get through this film, that quote will most definitely be your motto if an opportunity to watch "The Unearthly" ever crops up again. In all seriousness, there is very little to even have a chuckle at here. I've seen better Ed Wood movies.

Rating: 2/10
Mst3k v. rating: 2/10

Pacino as Gramps

2009-08-20T22:39:00.000-07:00

I just needed to post about this new pic of Al Pacino that I found on the web. You may or may not already know that I am a huge Pacino fan[girl]. And besides the fact that he is a living legend-- one of the best actors ever to walk this earth-- the man was certainly delectable in his day, and the last time I saw him, I still found him pretty attractive. Sure he is over 3x my age, but you can't deny that he looked fine as all get out through most of his years, even with coke all over his face. So it really shocked me when I saw the photo below:

After reading the caption, thank goodness, Pacino hasn't aged that quickly since the last photos I saw of him about 6+ months ago. Instead, he's dyed his hair white and donned the cardigan sweater to play the infamous Dr. Jack Kevorkian in the upcoming film "You Don't Know Jack". This TV movie will also star Susan Sarandon and John Goodman, and should be expected some time in 2010. Can't wait to see this one. Sounds like a very different role than what we've been seeing lately of Mr. Pacino.

NSBSHF #3: Tormented, 1960

2009-08-14T19:46:00.000-07:00

The third B movie in my 'never-ending saga' series is one of my favorites, "Tormented", released in 1960. The notorious Bert I. "B.I.G." Gordon, who was responsible for such films as "Earth vs. the Spider" (personal favorite) and "The Amazing Colossal Man", wrote and directed this one. This time Gordon puts away the giant bug/people obsession and opts for the classic ghost story with a twist.

"Tormented" is about a jazz piano musician, Tom, on the verge of marriage with a young, cutesy rich gal. However, his saucy Marilyn-Monroe-wannabe girlfriend, Vi, isn't too keen on that idea. She threatens to air his promiscuity if he goes through with the marriage, by showing his fiance their love letters she secretly saved. As the two argue about her blackmailing and his marriage on a lighthouse balcony, the railing breaks and Vi slips to her death-- just after Tom had the chance to save her. Just when Tom thinks he's rid of his troubles, Vi comes back to haunt him... literally.

Without a doubt, this is Gordon's finest venture. Is that saying something? Maybe. In all seriousness, this film had bucket loads of potential. The plot is original, but it is not handled as well as it should have been. Perhaps Gordon would have had a better career writing films, rather than directing them. The special effects are weak, but in my opinion, don't distract from the spookiness. Surprisingly, the acting isn't all that bad, either. Richard Carlson, who played Dr. David Reed in "Creature From the Black Lagoon", plays the starring role of Tom here and gives a pretty average performance. My favorite is Susan Gordon (yep, you guessed it, Bert's daughter), who plays Tom's fiance's little sister. I actually think she did great and was very natural, especially for her age. Gordon also recycles his ever-enjoyable extras, which is always a treat for me (hi, Gene Roth!).

Overall, I must highly recommend this film to all lovers of old horror or b movies. It's a lost film, and one of the only I wish to see a remake of some day.

Rating: 6.5/10
MST3k v. rating: 5/10

NSBSHF #2: The Crawling Eye (or The Trollenberg Terror), 1958

2009-08-13T21:25:00.000-07:00

The second B film in my series is "The Crawling Eye" or otherwise referred to as "The Trollenberg Terror", released in 1958. As you can probably gather from the title, it's your typical giant-something-or-other horror movie from the 50s.

This British sci-fi/horror film takes place in a ski-resort village called Trollenberg in Switzerland. The film mostly revolves around Ann Pilgrim, a young lady who, when on the train to Geneva with her sister, gets a weird feeling about the town of Trollenberg & the ominous mountain the village surrounds and insists they spend the night there. Then there are Alan Brooks and Professor Crevett, who are studying the radioactive clouds that are forming over the spooky mountain of the village after some climbers have gone missing and/or have been discovered dead...

So what does this all lead up to? Huge arse mountain-dwelling, goopy eyes that crawl, kill and can read humans' minds. Let me tell you, the film isn't all that bad. The special effects are definitely dated, but still interesting. I was actually surprised by some of the creepy death shots. Only thing is, the movie uses the average "50s person's" ignorance in science to it's advantage and winds up sounding pretty stupid now-a-days. There is also a little bit of romance between our main characters just because, and it can be simply boring in some places. Otherwise, the film has a good creepy atmosphere to it and all of the actors play their roles well.

So I didn't see this one as a total loss or waste of time. In fact, this film only furthered my fascination with B movies. The climax of the film is probably the best part; watch for the scene when the little girl leaves her toy behind...

Rating: 5/10
MST3k v. rating: 5/10

NSBSHF #1: The Corpse Vanishes, 1942

2009-08-13T20:00:00.000-07:00

The first B film in my series is "The Corpse Vanishes" from 1942, starring Bela Lugosi. This one was my proper introduction to the dangerously addicting world of B horror films, though I had seen my fair share of some in earlier years. Being a fan of Lugosi practically since birth, I was excited to see a film of his that I had never heard of before. But now I know big names have virtually no influence on a bad movie.

The premise is actually quite promising. It's about Lugosi's character sending some sort of special flower to brides on their wedding day. One by one, brides fall from the scent of this flower before they can even say "I do", and Lugosi's character intercepts their bodies and takes them back to his laboratory in a huge mansion in the middle of nowhere. Supposedly, the virgin brides (because we all know women are virgins until their wedding night) have some sort of magical thing in their glands that can be extracted and injected into Lugosi's dying wife to keep her alive and beautiful.

But however interesting the plot may be, the film turned out to be a mess. Save for Lugosi, the acting is, well... it leaves a bit more to be desired, let's say. There's an entirely pointless romance thrown in the plot, which leads to an even more pointless/un-interesting/anti-climatic/horrible ending that does absolutely nothing but make you wonder why you watched the film in the first place. Poor Bela. You can't help but think throughout the film that this is about where his career took a wrong turn.

So, would there be any reason for anyone to ever watch this film at all? Well, yes. The film starts out okay, but ultimately goes nowhere. If you're a fan of Bela Lugosi, he always gives a professional performance. Perhaps if you look at the film as a comedy rather than a horror, it would work a bit better. In fact, about 10 minutes in, the film develops a sort of comedic quality to it, albeit mostly unintentionally. But if you don't take the film as seriously as it's trying to take itself, you should come out of this unharmed.

Rating: 3/10
MST3k v. rating: 3/10

The Never-ending Saga of B Sci-Fi & Horror Films

2009-08-13T19:00:00.000-07:00

I have a problem.

Thanks to re-discovering a certain TV series, I can't stop myself from being attracted to some of the most atrociously paced, written, plotted, acted, and directed B-grade horror/sci-fi films in existence. Not only that, but sometimes I find myself actually enjoying these cinematic pieces of worthlessness.

For the most part, I have stuck to B films produced from around the early 40s to the mid 60s. Occasionally, however, I'll sneak in that synth-scored cheese-fest from the 1980s. In any case, it's a real problem. About halfway through most of these unintelligent low-budget flicks, my brain reaches for it's shut-off switch. I feel as if I'm melting into the chair I'm sitting in, mindlessly staring off into the TV. I couldn't possibly gain any knowledge or satisfaction from these films that are, for the most part, only available to the public because Mystery Science Theatre riffed them back in the early 90s, could I?

Well, for the most part the answer to that question is: no. I could not. But there's always the occasional exception, right? To start this blog off, I figured I would journey through all of the B films I've fried my brain watching throughout the year of 2009. A separate posting will be dedicated to each.